This Week In Blunders – Oct. 4-10
“A friend of the devil is a friend of mine.” – Grateful Dead.
President Donald Trump is standing outside the Kremlin with an empty gas can.
Since unilaterally starting a war with Iran and failing to keep open the Strait of Hormuz, diesel has soared to more than $6 a gallon.
The U.S. economy runs on diesel, from the tractors that cultivate our food to the trucks that deliver just about everything we buy. Diesel was $3.76 a gallon before the Iran war, according to AAA. Now its steep rise guarantees that Trumpflation will keep getting delivered by the truckload.
Forget the midterm elections. The economic situation is so dire that Trump has run to one of the few leaders in the world who might pretend to help him.
On Friday, Trump announced that Russia would put millions of tons of diesel onto the market. The Treasury Department, meanwhile, loosened restrictions so all that Russian fuel could find buyers.
The U.S. and its allies have spent years sanctioning Russian oil to thwart Putin’s unilaterally declared war on Ukraine.
Volodymyr Zelenskyy is furious, particularly as Russian attacks continue killing civilians and their children in the nation that he leads through an unprovoked war.
So now Russia gets more money to fuel its atrocities against Ukraine and possibly ramp up its continued aggression against our European allies. And we get … diesel prices that aren’t likely to drop any time soon.
Farmers eating record diesel costs and sharply higher fertilizer prices should be able to recognize Trump’s move: It’s called moving the manure around in the barnyard.
“It just means that the oil is just going to be shuffled around and it’s not really going to change the price globally or across the U.S.,” Michael Lynch, distinguished fellow at Energy Policy Research Foundation, told the Associated Press.
The latest U.S. Energy Information Administration forecast, completed before Trump announced his Russian rescue plan, expects diesel to remain above $6 through October. With inventories well below normal Russia’s diesel clearance sale isn’t likely to curb that assessment.
Then there’s Clayton Seigle, an energy strategist and expert at the Center for Strategic and International Studies. He told the AP that Russia needs to offload its summer-gradediesel anyway. Russian refineries need to clear their pipes for the heavier winter and arctic grades that will be in hot demand soon.
So Putin isn’t so much filling Trump’s gas can. He’s cleaning out his garage.
A lousy cut
Former TD Bank employee Gerardo Aquino pleaded guilty to taking bribes to help conspirators launder $4.8 million to Colombia.
Prosecutors say Aquino, 40, of Hollywood, Fla., opened 86 customer accounts using the same Miami address, issued hundreds of debit cards and even unblocked cards the bank had flagged for suspected fraud.
His take for helping move all that money: A little more than $8,000.
And get this: Aquino’s plea comes almost exactly two years after TD Bank itself pleaded guilty to similar criminal charges. But unlike Aquino, who faces up to 20 years in prison, no senior TD Bank executive ended up in the pokey.
Crime doesn’t pay, but when you’re in the corner offices, banking has its privileges.
Blunders: The sequels
Two memorable schemes recently chronicled here in Business Blunders caught up with their perpetrators this week.
Remember the guy who allegedly stole $53 million in crypto and blew some of it on Pokémon cards?
A Manhattan federal jury convicted cybersecurity consultant Jonathan Spalletta, 36, of Rockville, Md., on Wednesday of fraud and money laundering in the 2021 Uranium Finance heist.
Read More: Steal Crypto, Buy Pokémon (Business Blunders)
“Crypto is all fake internet money anyway,” Jonathan Spalletta, 36, told a friend as he explained his heist, according to the indictment.
It wasn’t a compelling defense. Jurors deliberated for just two hours.
P.S. It may sound stupid to risk prison for Pikachu, but some Pokémon cards are commanding record prices, including the sale of one card for $16.5 million ealier this year.
And on another front …
Music man Michael Smith, was sentenced Tuesday to 18 months in federal prison. Smith is a North Carolina musician who was accused of using bots to play AI-generated songs billions of times.
Read More: The Music Man (Business Blunders)
Smith admitted the scheme generated more than $8 million in fraudulent royalties. His bogus bot tunes played on Amazon Music, Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube Music and other streaming platforms.
Now he’s facing the music.
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LIV And Let Die LIV Golf can beg for a mulligan in bankruptcy court. But who wants to invest in a losing game?
Amazon’s Imaginary Friend Jeff Bezos’ e-commerce giant allegedly invented a bidder to drive up prices. Guess who pays.
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Jes Staley’s Magic Kindom When Wall Street was melting down, this top JPMorgan executive sought a financial wizard. He turned to his pal, Jeffrey Epstein.
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‘You Better Find Me Incompetent’ Former Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Michael Jeffries finally faces trial for alleged sex trafficking that began nearly 18 years ago
A Pump And Dump From Prison David Foley hyped penny stocks and bagged millions while serving a federal prison sentence. Now he’s headed back to the office.
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Michael ‘Mickey’ Monus – Phar-Mor He played doctor with the books. His pharmacy chain kept bleeding.
Ed Mattar – BestBank Of Boulder He was a lifelong deadbeat. Somehow he got his hands on a state-chartered bank.
The Luigi Effect Luigi Mangione has changed corporate security. CEOs may never feel safe again.
NFT Monkey Business Venture capitalists bet millions on a startup promising to build an exchange for cartoon apes. Prosecutors say founder Taj Tarsha blew investor funds on gambling and his DJ career.
Confessions Of An FBI Crypto Thief Prosecutors say agent Patrick Yaroch raided digital wallets. Then his conscience blew his cover.
Leaky Pants First came explosive diarrhea. Then came allegations of a $32 million inside job. It’s been one crappy summer for Taylor Farms.
How To Lose An Internet Fight eBay executives tried to silence a newsletter. It cost them tens of millions of dollars, seven criminal convictions, and one of the worst public-relations disasters in Silicon Valley history.
Another Billion-Dollar Bedtime Story Silicon Valley bet big on yet another young prodigy. Now they’re waking up to reality ... again.
Blowing Sunshine Jay Lucas preached positivity while looting his $50 million private equity fund
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The Nigerian Prince Goes Corporate A former Morgan Stanley broker allegedly gave the classic scam a Wall Street makeover