Party With Mr. Dahmer
Spinmeisters should substitute 'Epstein' with 'Dahmer' to hear how they creepy sound
This Week In Blunders – Feb. 1-Feb 7
“I should never have been convicted of anything more serious than running a cemetery without a license.” – John Wayne Gacy
Billionaires, business magnates and politicians scrambled for cover this week as news organizations, legal experts and government officials sifted through the latest Epstein file release.
The biggest spin job of the week came from Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche.
“It isn’t a crime to party with Mr. Epstein,” he said in an interview with Fox News’ Laura Ingraham on Monday.
Indeed, guilt by association can lead to a miscarriage of justice. But allow me to offer a little thought experiment to put this in a better perspective: What if we substitute the name of Epstein with Dahmer?
Why are you partying with serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer?
You know. The guy who raped young men, drilled holes in their skulls, ate them, dismembered them, kept their body parts as trophies, dissolved their remains in acid-filled drums – and when he failed at turning them into sex zombies, he resorted to necrophilia. You know. That Jeffrey?
Why are you partying with him?
Perhaps it’s not an entirely fair comparison because as far as we know, Jeffrey Epstein only raped and trafficked children to some of the richest and most powerful people in the world. They only damaged their victims for life. They didn’t eat them.
Still, anyone maintaining a relationship with the infamous sex offender after his 2008 conviction has some explaining to do. And it’s never going to sound good.
Read More:
Networking With A Pedophile (Business Blunders)
Meditations With A Sex Offender (Business Blunders)
Winter Is Coming For Summers (Business Blunders)
Was Maxwell Smart? (Business Blunders)
If it were Dahmer, the excuses wouldn’t wash for a second: “I only knew him socially,” “It was a business relationship,” “It was just a birthday card,” and“We exchanged gifts, but nothing inappropriate.”
Or how about this?
“I think it’s really time for the country to get on to something else.” That’s what Trump told reporters in the Oval Office on Tuesday.
So far, Trump’s name comes up in the Epstein files more than 38,000 times, according to a recent count by The New York Times. So of course our president would like to move on.
Don’t move on too fast, though, because former President Bill Clinton and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton finalized their agreement with House Republicans on Tuesday to testify about Epstein.
It will be the first time a U.S. president has been compelled to testify before Congress if Bill Clinton appears on Feb. 27, and who can wait to hear what’s next?
By now, Epstein is on equal footing with Dahmer in American crime lore.
Dahmer was convicted in 1992 and we are still talking about him. We will always be talking about Epstein, too, because the list of prominent names in his network keeps growing.
One of the biggest corporate casualties this week was the chairman of one of the nation’s most powerful law firms, Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison.
Brad Karp thanked Epstein in a July 22, 2015 email, for hosting a “once in a lifetime” evening he would “never forget.” Epstein responded, “there are many many nights of unique talents. you will be invited often.”
Karp, who resigned as chairman but will remain at the firm, had this to say: “Recent reporting has created a distraction and has placed a focus on me that is not in the best interests of the firm.”
Yes, it sounds like quite a distraction there, counselor. But, at least, as Blanche notes: “It isn’t a crime to party with Mr. Epstein.”
Or even Mr. Dahmer.
More creepy news from Uber
Apparently, those who were not connected enough to party with Epstein could get a gig at Uber.
On Thursday, a federal jury ordered the ride hailing giant to pay $8.5 million to a woman who claimed that one of its drivers had raped her.
The verdict set the stage for thousands of similar cases around the country. Thousands.
Uber received 12,522 reports of people being sexually assaulted between 2017 and 2022 with about 70% of the complaints against drivers. That’s an assault every eight minutes.
The company plans to appeal the verdict, an Uber spokesperson said in a statement to The New York Times.
Jaylynn Dean claimed an Uber driver raped her in November 2023 during a ride from her boyfriend’s apartment in Tempe, Ariz. NYT reported this from her testimony:
“I want to make sure it doesn’t happen to other women. … I’m doing this for other women who thought the same thing I did, that they were making the safe and smart choice– but that, you know, there are risks of being assaulted.”
Uber’s chief rival Lyft, which has a smaller number of similar complaints, is also battling lawsuits.
Plaintiffs argue driver background checks, safety vetting and response to complaints have been insufficient and that companies prioritize growth over safety.
Growth at any cost is always going to cost someone.
Always set aside enough to make bond
Brothers Patrick and Edward James, who built and bankrupted auto parts giant First Brands Group, pleaded not guilty on Wednesday for an alleged multibillion-dollar fraud that spooked Wall Street.
Read More:
Idiot Lights (Business Blunders)
Parts Is Parts (Business Blunders)
Patrick James was freed on a $50 million bond and Edward James was freed on a $25 million bond. But both were ordered subject to home confinement.
First Brands’ collapse was unnerving because the alleged victims included major financial services companies that should have known better, including BlackRock, UBS, Blackstone, Jeffries Financial Group and Santander.
It looks like these genius financiers fell for some of the oldest accounting tricks in the book. And they are now scrapping to recover billions in losses from this debacle.
They should be happy to know the James boys still had tens of millions of dollars left to post bonds.
Don’t Miss These Blunders
Red State Ripoff Insurance tycoon Greg Lindberg fleeced conservative retirees. Now he wants a Trump pardon.
Fat Brands’ Debt Buffet Fatburger operator binged on other brands and choked on the tab
Idiot Lights Wall Street lenders didn’t check the dashboard before First Brands blew the engine
The Incredible Shrinking Airline Seat Canada’s WestJet may have just saved the world from the worst trend in commercial air travel
This Is Sandgaard The CEO of Zynex Medical was indicted for health care and securities fraud. It could mark the end of his rock and roll fantasy.
Needless Markup Amazon’s $475 million bet on the Saks-Neiman Marcus merger goes to zero in bankruptcy court
Was Maxwell Smart? Ghislaine Maxwell lived her life between two international crooks: Her father Robert Maxwell and sex-offender Jeffrey Epstein. Some people think they were spies.
Volkswagen Dipsticks German automaker burns trust even faster than oil
Pork Jello Sandwich Do you mean the McRib isn’t actually made from real rib meat? Say it ain’t so.
Biggest Business Blunders Of 2025 It was a year of forbidden love, economic anxiety, corporate breakups, bankruptcies, CEO resignations, Jeffrey Epstein, and the Tesla Chainsaw Massacre
Sacking Sachs No one pulls off a smash-and-grab like a privateer
Best Read Blunders Of 2025 Here’s what clicked the most for me on Substack this year. Not my best work, not the biggest story, not even the most-important development – but it clicked.
Tax Time For A Dead Billionaire Texas businessman Robert T. Brockman coughs up $750 million from beyond the grave.
Going All Enron On Them Before subprime auto lender Tricolor imploded, its CEO allegedly proposed one of the dumbest stunts in corporate history
Kat’s Creepy Creations Where can you buy human body parts? Try Harvard Medical School.
How To Rob A Greedy Bank Mary Carole McDonnell has been retired for seven years after allegedly defrauding banks that didn’t bother checking out her story
Small Town Bankster Reckless lending, casino gambling and allegedly doctored books led to the demise of a century-old community bank. Now its CEO faces prison time.
JPMorgan Chase Can Check Their Butts A young entrepreneur duped the bank out of $175 million. Now her defense lawyers are billing the bank for cellulite butter.