Just Smile And Wave

This Week In Blunders – July 13-19

“I used to rule the world; Seas would rise when I gave the word. Now in the mornin’ I sleep alone. Sweep the streets I used to own.” - Coldplay

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When you and your lady friend get picked off by a camera and unexpectedly appear on a giant screen before 66,000 screaming fans at a Coldplay concert, just smile and wave.

Don’t hide your faces. And, for damn sure, don’t duck.

In most cases, the camera operator will decide you’re too plain and move on to a more fabulous couple. The moment will pass with no one the wiser.

This is not what Andy Bryon and Kristin Cabot did during a Coldplay concert in Boston on Wednesday night. The CEO of a startup called Astronomer and his “chief people officer” simply panicked when they were captured canoodling on the jumbotron.

Philandering CEOs take note: You never want data like this in your own data pipeline.

Their mortified reaction sparked way too much curiosity among way too many people, prompting Coldplay frontman Chris Martin to speculate: “Either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy.”

Internet sleuths immediately went to work. The pair was soon identified, the video went viral, and they were swiftly placed on leave while their company investigates. Then today, Byron tendered his resignation, according to the company’s LinkedIn page.

Astronomer, which builds platforms for orchestrating and managing data pipelines, raised $93 million in venture capital funding in May. It’s backed by Salesforce Ventures, Insight Partners and Bain Venture Capital. And boy, did they pick a loser.

It’s difficult to imagine how Byron, who is married, Cabot, who is divorced and remarried, and Astronomer, which was relatively unknown, will ever live this down.

Byron is not the first CEO to lose his job for forbidden love. Here at Business Blunders, we keep a growing list of them called “Lost In Love.” But having a prohibited relationship with the executive in charge of policing such offenses, and shamelessly performing a PDA at a Coldplay concert, is a rare outrage.

What are the odds they’d make what The New York Post called “The Dumbotron?” Who would have thought there’d be literally thousands of news stories on the spectacle within hours?

Maybe karma really does operate in the corporate world. People who have worked for Byron described him as a toxic boss to The New York Post. Said one anonymous source:

“Everybody’s laughing their ass off and enjoying the hell out of what happened and him getting exposed.”

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Stripped of a job

When you’re making $3.6 million a year to run an organization, pay for strip clubs out of your own pocket.

Lloyd Howell Jr. resigned this week as executive director of the NFL Players Association following scrutiny over his expense reports, which included thousands of dollars for visiting nudie bars, ESPN reported.

Howell was also under fire at the players union for a financial conflict of interest. He’s reportedly been working a side gig for The Carlyle Group, a private equity giant that wants to invest in NFL franchises.

Howells resigned Thursday saying his “leadership had become a distraction.” Some distraction.

ESPN reported that his expenses from Tootsie's Cabaret in Miami Gardens and Magic City in Atlanta included ATM withdrawals and VIP rooms. One expense report billed it as a “Player Engagement Event,” which is technically accurate.

It’s also less incriminating than “lap dance.”

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Varsity Blues – The Sequel?

William “Rick” Singer who led the infamous “Varsity Blues” college admissions cheating scheme is out of prison, and guess what? A judge says he can go back to work.

Prosecutors say this brazen fraudster made more than $25 million getting the underachieving kids of the rich and famous into top schools. He also got more than 50 of his clients convicted, including actresses Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman.

His company, ID Future Stars, continues to promise “an 80-96% acceptance rate for first-choice schools and over 90% within the list of their top 3 choices.”

In 2019, Singer pleaded guilty to a raft of charges and in 2023, he was sentenced to 3½ years in prison. Last year, he was released to a Los Angeles halfway house.

“His decade-long scheme resembled something out of a Hollywood movie,” said United States Attorney Rachael S. Rollins following Singer’s sentencing. “He courted the entitled, rich and famous, who were so desperate for their children to secure college admission, that they lied, cheated and bribed to get them in.”

Now Singer can go back to work as long as he discloses his criminal past to his clients, a judge ruled.

Perhaps it’s just another impressive credential for his rich and famous customers who believe the rules shouldn’t apply to them or their brat children.

According to Singer’s website, “100% of our clients come from direct referrals, reflecting our reputation and the trust families place in us.”

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